We have all heard that dowry is a social evil. But have we considered the financial burden that men in Pakhtoon culture face when it comes to marriage?
In many areas, much of the financial burden falls on the groom and his family. After a proposal is accepted, the groom may be expected to pay a large amount of money. In some cases, the mahr is set as high as one million rupees, with people saying that the money will later be returned through dowry and household goods.
In a period of high inflation, saving such an amount is extremely difficult for a young man whose salary is largely spent on household expenses. As a result, many young men cannot marry until their thirties because they are unable to meet these financial demands.
Sadly, this tradition also affects girls. When young men feel that marriage is financially impossible, they stop seeking proposals, delaying marriages. In some cases, even after nikah, rukhsati is delayed until the full amount is paid. Money thus becomes a barrier between families.
Who is responsible?
The responsibility lies with all of us: parents who demand excessive mahr and gifts, elders who remain silent about harmful traditions, and a society that compares one wedding with another. Marriage has become a display of status rather than a simple religious bond. Media and social pressure also encourage extravagant weddings.
Islam teaches us to make marriage easy, and the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) provides an example of simplicity. When social customs conflict with religious principles, we must reconsider them.
The solution is in our hands. Religious scholars, tribal elders and parents should promote simple weddings and keep mahr reasonable. Young people should also resist unnecessary financial demands.
The question is whether we will keep marriage a simple religious bond, as Islam teaches, or turn it into a financial trial that takes years to overcome. If we want the former, we must speak openly about these traditions and help young people begin married life without excessive financial pressure.
ALINA AFREEN,
Karachi.
